IT'S THE RITUAL

it's time
you go have a drink
they say
how're you gonna celebrate?
my mind is blown empty
I am just hanging here
suspended
in this moment
with all their eyes on me
I fumble a bit
with my words
in an overwhelm of
subtle energy
a rush throughout
my body systems
from the profoundness
of the ritual
in all it's mundane
stacks of paper  

*it's the ritual*

they are waiting expectantly
we all know innately
that life changes
the moment you walk out that door
we feel it in the air  

I see it in their eyes  
a friendly
yet serious tone
I am signing my name
promising to pay back
the largest sum of money
I could conceive of
until this point
of my evolution

it's in their tone of voice
as they explain
one by one
what each document means
like getting married
there is a commitment
solidified into these stacks
of papers and
a promise
like I've never made before
a promise to myself
that I will
unleash
the
wildest
most
fearless
version
of
myself.